Dealing With the Dealer in HK

You need to treat the first few moments at a dealership like an old-timey mobster being interrogated by the coppers: You don't say nothin' about nothin'. Financing? What's that? Trade-ins? Ha, what a hilarious portmanteau of gibberish! Price range? I don't even speak English.

The first step is just and only to find the car you want, go over it carefully, take stock of any work that needs doing, and barter out the final price. Only when that's all settled do you talk about trading in something. Why would you discuss trade-ins right up front if you haven't even found a car you like? You're not even sure you're shopping there yet. The grocery store doesn't pull you aside when you walk in the doors and ask how much you're planning to spend today. So why do dealerships always want to know your price, payment and trades first? Because it gives them leverage against you: "Oh, well, if we're going to do you a favor and take this trade-in off your hands, you have to buy one of these pre-selected vehicles." Or, "Oh, you're financing? Those aren't our finance cars. Our finance cars are all dull red Kias; let's go out back and take a look."

That's bullshit. Everything is a finance car. Just like everything is a cash car. The car does not care how you pay for it. It is a car. Even if it becomes sentient, it's mostly only going to care about fighting crime and ramping shit, like K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider. And brother, if that happens: You let it. You buy yourself a leather jacket and a perm and get the fuck out of there; your car search is over.