Never walk into a HK dealership "just to see what they've got."

Never, ever walk into a dealership "just to see what they've got." Salesmen see that aimless stare on your face and they're like starving cartoon wolves -- they don't even see a person; all they see is a giant walking turkey leg. Most small and midsize dealerships will have online inventories. Check those out in advance and start looking up the models you're interested in, then read up on each one: Comb through car sites like www.hkmarket.hk, click on classified posts by privates, get the specs and find out about users' experience with reliability -- hell, go to Wikipedia and bone up on the entire history of the model you're considering. Back in school, you'd do the same amount of research for a book report on Huck Finn just because an older lady in a paneled skirt threatened you with the alphabet -- you can do the same legwork for a multi-thousand-dollar purchase you're going to entrust your life to every time you leave the house to get a burrito. Whatever you do, the point is to come in with a mental list: Do not let them steer you outside of that list to a car that you're not familiar with. Adventure is wondrous and grand, but the used car lot is not the place to listen to strange old men in tattered clothes whisper of magical chariots.

Now this is the important part, so pay attention: No matter what anybody tells you -- no matter how respectable the source -- never, ever, ever buy the Kia. Regardless of dealership affiliation, every used car lot on the planet has a dull red Kia out back that they want to show you. It's going to feel wrong, somehow, like the air around it has gone stale. That's the universe trying to warn you. There will be rational arguments, and your brain is gonna be all like, "Hey, it sounds like they've gotten a lot better lately," and, "Look, even the car magazines think they've got some decent models." But there's a very simple explanation for this illusion: It's a vast government conspiracy and everybody is in on it but me. They are terrible cars that will explode and betray you, no matter how meticulously you care for them. Isn't that right, Optima, you fickle bitch?! You broke my heart! And for what? A measly 15,000 miles? I thought we had something! I spent two years inside of you. Does that mean nothing?!